As I walk through a particularly difficult season emotionally I am learning a lot about myself. I'm also noticing things about the Church I hadn't noticed before. Some things you just can't see when you're on the mountain top. Things are too far away that you can't really see the details to be able to relate to it. Some things can only be seen in the valley. In the valley is where courage is tested. The valley is where moxy is developed. One of the "things" I have noticed is how much we as a Church don't give each other, much less the world, any grace. We say "come as you are..." and it sounds spiritual and full of grace but often we really have unspoken conditions. And we are probably harder on someone once they have come into the family of believers. Because now they should "know better." I know I've done it. I've looked down on someone who is struggling. Shaking my head in a way that was so full of prideful, religious hypocrisy that lacks all the love that Jesus has for that person. I think we can all say at some point or another we all have for one reason or another.
*Side note: In saying this I am in no way negating the importance or necessity for holiness, accountability and Godly discipline when needed... it takes discernment and wisdom to navigate each situation. I am simply speaking in a general way to make a broader point.
As I walk through a terribly painful but freeing place of raw honesty with my emotions and circumstances I am learning that there are some who don't really want you to "come as you are," but God will always let you come to Him as you are. Whether you're in a strong place or a complete and utter mess. He wants it whatever it is. If only we as believers would allow ourselves to do the same. We don't really want the mess... maybe because its a way for some to pretend they aren't also a mess. If we all walk around and pretend we are "too blessed to be stressed" then the mess will somehow go away. Worse yet, some of us self-medicate with ministry because the more ministry we do the more spiritual we are and those problems will magically disappear if we just simply get busy "being about the Father's business." Only maybe sometimes His business is with us personally...
Why is being a mess sometimes a bad thing? It means that we are real people, with real emotions, who live in a real world where life can be hard at times. It means that more people will be able to relate to me if they see the same scars in me. I think it's rather telling that when Jesus rose from the dead His scars were visible. When I'm struggling with feeling like God has forsaken me and I'm dying inside I can look at Jesus' scars and know that He also felt those same emotions. And He overcame. And overcoming meant going through the physical and emotional pain... not avoiding it. It was perfectly messy. Out of His greatest pain came our greatest victory.
I know that I will think twice before I shake my head at someone who is struggling. Whether it's emotional, a sin, a life situation... I'm going to do my best to give grace to someone to feel what they are feeling. What would happen if we actually allowed each other to be honest about what is going on in our lives and how we feel without covering it with all the "spiritual" cliche lines we all know to say to each other? It's like that makes us have more faith. I'm finding that being real and honest takes more courage than to it is to rattle off some one liner that makes me sound more spiritual. It also takes more courage to be real and honest than it does to avoid it with any amount of spiritual busyness or pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. I'm also finding that when we are honest about our current state, God is more than big enough to handle it and this amazing thing happens. We walk through it.
So, if you're struggling with life... come as you are... to Him. And know that earth has no sorrow that heaven can't heal. And may we as believers also be a place where people can come as they are. Where we can be like Jesus when He lifted up the face of the harlot instead of throwing stones. No judgement. No shame. No shaking of heads. But we embrace people in love and then take their hand to walk through the mess with them.
A link to the song that inspired this post: Come As You Are by Crowder
