Can I be raw and honest? It's the only way I know how to be really... it's been a difficult couple of years. I don't think I realized how difficult until recently, how hard it's actually been for me on the inside. Since I stepped out to pursue my dreams nearly 2 years ago I have had some incredible highs and some incredible lows. I've experienced incredible generosity and an incredible lack of generosity. I've experienced excitement from others about this crazy vision God has given me and I've experienced total confusion from others about this crazy vision. The one glaring thing I have not experienced is genuine community. I got a taste of what community looked like while I lived in Charlotte. And it came in the form of a couple of dance studios. People who genuinely cared, genuinely helped if you were in need, and genuinely loved. It was amazing to not feel like a burden to people... especially as a single girl with no family nearby (managing single life at this age is a whole other blog!). It was amazing to feel included and to just share life with people.
Since leaving Charlotte it's been difficult to find that sense of community again, especially in the Church. Today I was thinking about it. Why is community so hard to find? My mother brought up a statement that I've heard from well meaning church people for years -- "You don't go to church for the people, you go for the Lord." I'm sure I've said it at some point. Only now I fundamentally disagree with this statement. I actually do go to church for the people. It's not the only reason... but it's a big one. WHAT??!! It's true. I don't serve God or base my relationship with God on how people treat me but one of the reasons I go to church is for fellowship. Fellowship is not the two minutes of "greet your neighbor" time between the music and the sermon. Fellowship is sharing life with the people who have common interests. Fellowship is the cement in any authentic community. The early Church understood the principle of doing life together. They shared all that they had. They broke bread together regularly. You can see it evidenced even in the disagreements (Paul and Barnabas for example) because disagreements will inevitably occur when you do life with someone long enough. We were not meant to go through this life alone. We need each other. We draw strength from one another. I will even go as far as to say that the Trinity is a perfect example of community working in harmony. The Body of Messiah is called to be one Body and we can't do that if our mentality is to always put up the proverbial privacy fence.
I get that really doing life with people is messy. It's hard. It requires effort. I'm the first to admit that I'm not always great at it. But we would be better off for it. It's incredibly rewarding. I believe that this area is where the rubber meets the road in many ways. No more superficial handshakes and "how are you doing," or "good to see you" statements when there is really nothing behind the words. As I navigate through a very difficult season of feeling isolated and alone (even among fellow believers) I wonder how many others have experienced this same thing. And how many of those have walked away from the Church as a result. It's a common saying but the words ring true, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." It's time to come up to a higher standard of not just saying we care on a superficial level but getting down in the trenches with people. Experiencing the mess that is often called life; celebrating victories and mourning together with each other through every season. I believe we were all fundamentally designed to need each other in some sort of capacity (it's not good for man to be alone....).
If you're feeling alone, if you've been hurt, if you feel like no one cares or that no one understands. This girl does. I get it. And we can walk through it together. We can build each other up in our most holy faith. No judgement. Just honest, come as you are and let's keep moving forward community. No exclusions. No popularity contests. No cool kids club. However you're dressed, whatever your vise, whatever your need... There is a place for you. At least there should be...
