This has been such a roller coaster week for me. On the one hand I am trying to be "normal" and on the other I succumb to the depths of God's heart for His people. You see this week an 18 day search for three Israeli teenage boys kidnapped by Hamas terrorists in the West Bank came to a tragic end. Monday their bodies were found. The entire nation mourned with the families of these teens. In fact, some 70,000 (maybe more) people showed up at their memorial service on Tuesday that was also live streamed online. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was late arriving (and he was one of the speakers) because he was stuck in traffic! As the nation mourned I found myself also mourning with them in a much deeper way than I ever thought. For those 18 days I followed closely the developments of what was taking place. I knew more about what was happening in Israel than I did in Charlotte. When I saw the headline Monday come across my phone that their bodies had been found I gasped at my desk at work and sat paralyzed for short time.
Tuesday night as I was trying to work out exactly what was going on with me and my emotions over all this I found myself weeping for Israel. The range of emotions was overwhelming! One minute it was grief over the senseless death of 3 innocent boys, the next it was frustration that I am not in Israel, the next it was crying out for the salvation of both Jew and Arab, followed by the sobering reminder that God has called me to a nation where terrorism is almost a daily reality in some form or another and the cycle continued for quite some time. At one point I asked the Lord what was going on. What is this about? And that still small voice gently reminded me that He has knit my heart with Israel. He has given me HIS heart for this nation. I was experiencing a small part of God's heart for the nation of Israel. Total surrender to God and allowing Him to place His desires in our hearts leads to our feeling what He feels for the people He longs to save. This is across the board for any nation or people that God may put on someone's heart. It just so happens to be Israel for me. And even in the midst of all the upheaval and fall out from the tragic event that unfolded Monday I felt this need to be there. I need to be there because that is where I belong. It's God's destiny for my life and as scary as it seems sometimes there is no turning back. Once God arrests your heart, you are never the same. You can't look back. It's not even an option. On this Independence Day Eve I can only think about all of the people who are in spiritual bondage and we as believers have the key to unlock their prison doors in Jesus.
So, through this experience I have seen the Lord drawing me closer to Him. I've only just begun to barely tap into the depths of His heart and the more broken I'm becoming because of it the deeper I want to go. Let God break your heart for what breaks His. Just know that when He does it, you will never be the same again!
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